Thursday, November 30, 2006

Do pants have ears?

At the local bookstore they decided that instead of using the overhead speakers they would use walkie-talkies. This way it would not feel so much like going to Wal-Mart, I guess. How dare they ruin the ambiance of a box store!

So I am standing at the check out and the person helping me stops and says to a coworkers who walked up, "I was paging you on the walkie-talkie. Did you not hear me?"

"No.", says the coworkers pulling the walkie-talkie out of her pocket, "I can't hear from my pants." Everyone standing near by just started laughing. I think I was the loudest. The poor coworkers got slightly embarrassed and was then reminded that she could clip it to her waistband so she could hear it.

She did so and was walking away. She didn't get very far when the person helping me said into the walkie-talkie, "Can you hear me?"

The girl paused, pushed her hip to the side, looked at it where the walkie-talkie was, turned to the person helping me and said, "No."

So apparently she can't hear from her hip either.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The third toe from the left...no right

I was talking to my maternal grandmother yesterday on the phone and she was telling me the problems she is having with her feet. She has arthritis very badly and it has just gnarled her hands and feet. On one of her feet it is so bad that one of her toes keeps rubbing on her shoes and it gets to the point where it is bleeding and unable to heal.

I asked her what toe we were talking about and she paused...trying to think of a way to explain. She finally said the toe next to the little one...I told her that she could call it her ring toe....she laughed and said no the one beside that one. Then she said the third one from the right. I told her that it was also the third one from the left since it was her middle toe and she had to pause to think about that. She was so intent on starting from the right that it didn't dawn on her the fact that it is in the middle!

She said she went to the doctor about it and half jokingly said to him that she wanted that toe cut off. The doctor said that would not be a problem, and that she would have a three day stay in the hospital. She chickened out for now and I asked her why and she said it was because she didn't want to stay in the hospital! Oh who cares about getting a toe chopped off, I don't want to be in the hospital! She did explain that the hospitals are very understaffed and with her hands the way they are she can't open milk carton or do other nimble things like that. So then I asked her what she does at home and she said that at home she has scissors, knifes, hammers...etc. I just had to laugh, that is my grandmother for you.